Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Forever and Always

I was going through a lot of old pictures tonight, and I found this one:

I had totally forgot all about it, forgot that it was taken, forgot that I had it.
Look closely, that's me (freshman year of high school) at the bottom left, and Cory (Junior year in high school) top left.
I can't explain to you the feeling I got when I found and continued to study this picture. (I would like to point out really quick how much I'm loving Cory's luscious locks of hair, the fact that I am indeed sporting my favorite hot pink sports bra which has sadly been forced to retire, I still had my braces, and Cory is wearing his lucky 2003 shirt (still worn at his meets today.))
Oh, the memories it brings back...

A little history behind the photo: at this point and time it's safe to say I was completely in love with Cory. I know this because I know this picture was taken at our district track meet. We were both on our high school's 4X4 teams. This picture was taken because both teams advanced to the regional meet. Anyways, so yeah - it's the end of the season and at that point - I was in love, head over heels for the kid. Yes, he knew this. Sadly enough, however, things fell apart before summer hit that school year and we didn't talk all summer until the fall when school started again. 

Ironically enough - while, yes, I officially met Cory during my freshman year track season - I had blindly known who he was for a long time. 
My sister (PLEASE don't be grossed out) and Cory were in the same grade, and 'dated' for a week in sixth grade. Then, I remember going to a 7th grade basketball game to watch my sister cheer (I must have been in 5th grade at the time), and Cory - per usual - was the star of the team. While I was sitting there completely bored out of my mind, I remember the 'announcer' kept saying 'Beebe' this, and 'Beebe' that - announcing his points, assists, rebounds - what have you. Well while I was sitting there, more than likely daydreaming of who knows what, I remember thinking - "Beebe...what a sweet last name." NO JOKE. 

Furthermore, a couple years down the road, we unintentionally crossed paths again, the winter of my freshman year in high school, his junior (yes, months before track season) (Can you follow all of this?!)! This time it was because of a good friend of mine at the time, and a good friend of Cory's at the time - were dating. So, little 'ole me went with Ryan and Kara to pick Cory up at his house to go to Country Kitchen, after a basketball game (Ryan and Cory played). (Oh, yeah, I know - you're thinking high schoolers at a Country Kitchen after a basketball game? I don't know what to tell you other than - it was local and cheap...) ANYWAYS - yeah so here Cory and I are, have no idea really who one another are, riding in the back seat together to Country Kitchen. 

(It's funny how I remember all of this, but I am SOOO glad I do.) While we're sitting there waiting to order, Cory and I are sitting next to eachother and I look over at him - who has not said a peep - and ask him what he's going to order. He said he wasn't sure, and I said the 'Giant Cinnamon Bun' looks good, and he said 'yeah, I was thinking about that'. (In more or less words.) So, yeah - it's cheesy - but we both got the 'Giant Cinnamon Bun'. Nothing else of significance happened that night really...OH! Other than the fact that Kara's ex-boyfriend came in and dumped pop on her, which of course got on me. Ha!

But, this picture, and these memories are so near and dear to my heart because these were ALL before we knew who eachother were, before we were friends, before boyfriend and girlfriend, before the first kiss, before the 'I Love You's', before the most amazing memories and adventures.
So many things were just about to happen, and that's why I love this picture, and these first - blurry - memories.
We didn't know anything about our little future together, or about what we'd go through along the way together and learn from eachother and how'd we would grow in love. We didn't know about the little bumps and bruses, skinned knees and broken hearts we'd find along the way.
Mostly, though, we didn't know they would shape us individually and as a couple, and how they would eventually make our love stronger and bring greater happiness into our lives than even imagined.

We could only dream of it, hope for it, work for it.
Cory and I don't have a perfect relationship, nor will it ever be perfect. 
At the same time, that's a blessing. If we did, we wouldn't be 9 hours apart - he wouldn't get the giggle he gets from my ridiculousness, my absurd laugh he claims I let out one day after school, or the joy he gets from the fact that I could quiet possibly be the most ticklish person on the planet.
At the same token, I wouldn't find humor in the fact that his room has a bomb explode in it everyday but yet - that's home, or when he is upset or mad at something silly, all I have to say is "Somebodies gunna smileeeeeeee", and that favorite smile of mine comes out.
No, we're not perfect - and together our relationship isn't perfect. But how boring would that be - to be perfect.
What we do have together, what we share - who we are individually and as a couple - is something I wouldn't trade for the world. What we have together is unexplainable, at times unseeable. Words will never be able to explain, or actions will never be able to show how much I love this guy. He is my best friend - my buddy - my pillow sharer. He is my breath of fresh air, my shoulder to lean on, to cry on. He is my laugh, he is my smile, he is everything and more to me. He makes me so happy. I wish I could give him the world, or atleast I wish he could see himself through my eyes. 

Cory will be the first to tell you that at times he's extremely stubborn, he makes me crazy frustrated, and even really sad. I'll be the first to tell you that I'm overly emotional and sensitive at times and I make him feel the same way. But, at the end of the day, that's not what defines us. It's not what defines our relationship. It's truly invisible when it comes to the love we share. I know we make quite the rock solid team. We've been 'us' for nearly 6 years now. He can make me laugh like no other and leaves me with the biggest smile on my face, greatest feeling in my heart, and makes me want to be a better person for who he is, what he does and how he loves me. I only can hope that I make him feel somewhat the same...
I love you buddy, forever and always.
God sure did break the mold when he made you, and I'm so glad!
Thank you for being you, coming into my life, being with me, and loving me above all. 
Never stop.